


The true value of coffee

by GraceOfAnAngel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Does Not Understand (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Confessions, Cute, Denial of Feelings, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), One Shot, Pining, Supporting Sam, a lot of coffee, until he does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26200726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraceOfAnAngel/pseuds/GraceOfAnAngel
Summary: In the beginning there was no greater way than watching Dean Winchester for learning and understanding the human nature, its acting and confusing behaviours. As complex of a human being Dean was to understand, he couldn't point out another creation of his father which had a more emotional, impulsive and outbursting nature than him.----Cas learning about Dean's reactions and realizing two or three things about himself whilst constantly fighting the new coffee machine.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 85





	The true value of coffee

Cas liked watching Dean.

Not the creepy way, clarifying that real quick. There have been enough _Casgetoutofmydamnpersonalspacegoddammit!!!_ moments already, and with time he got wiser in not overstraining his luck with Dean's temper too much.

But nevertheless Cas liked watching Dean. A lot. That he admitted a long time ago to himself.

In the beginning there was no greater way than watching Dean Winchester for learning and understanding the human nature, its acting and confusing behaviours. As complex of a human being Dean was to understand, he couldn't point out another creation of his father which had a more emotional, impulsive and outbursting nature than him.

Cas learned from and about Dean every day completely anew. His little brother Sam on the other side, was a bit less exaggerating in his behaviours, but therefore an amusingely great example how humans could process and learn to be a walking lexikon themselves.

Dean though never failed to amaze him and Cas was willingly taking the opportunity to soke in every information from him.

For instance right now.

It was a not so early morning for Cas and so he was about to make coffee in the bunker's kitchen again as he found the remainings from the breakfast not quite sufficient for his taste. Only that now he was standing in front of a complete new and shiny coffee machine, which he never saw before. It hit him that he kind of remembered hearing Dean cheering something like "Fuck yeah Sammy, light's finally out for that old nasty coffee brewer!! We get a proper one now - fresh smell of beans here we come!!"

That said - Cas was examining the new machine very thouroughly but just couldn't find out how to make it work. With a heavy sigh and deciding that he would not test his luck with Dean's new sacred achievement of kitchen equipment he made his way to the garage.

"Dean, I know you are very proud of your new coffee machine, but it is not making any sense -"

Cas came to a halt and stood very still. And just watched.

Dean had finished whatever task he did on Baby and bent over her trunk. He carefully swiped across her with a damp cloth humming quietly.

Cas soked it all in.

Dean's face which was for once soft, his eyes, following the swiping cloth calmly and shining in the bright garage light. His mouth was forming a little captivating smile. It made Cas forget all about that new damned coffee machine and realize what he was seeing.

 _Ah._ Thought Cas.

_Contentment._

Dean caught his stare, his smile turning into an apologetic one.

"Sorry Cas, you said what about coffee?"

\-----

Cas enjoyed the life in the bunker. He enjoyed having a room for himself where he could lay down for a few hours. He didn't need to sleep as much as a full human, but nervetheless it was nice crashing down for a bit.

He also enjoyed having meals with Dean and Sam, appreciating the meals Dean cooked. And Dean tried very hard to please them, even though he would always try to never slip it through. He would even try and serve his behatred salad once in while to Sam and him.

Like now. Dean was striding to the kitchen table, two plates in hand with big portions of salad on them. It looked good and very, very healthy. He thankfully accepted the plate while Sam had already started devouring it.

"There ya' go, Sammy. Sometime around you'll turn us all pepper green with the amount of coloured food you're forcing us to eat." Sam just snorted into his food and replied something savage.

As Dean came back with his own salad in hand it was only now Cas realized that he made each plate entirely different. His own was covered with the tasty joghurt dressing that made each and every molecule far more enjoyable as well as the roasted nuts placed on it.

He didn't had the chance to catch a look on Sam's plate, but was very sure it contained all kinds of veggies and his beloved egg.

Dean's salad in contrary was more kind of a nice big mountain of meat salad. Only little bit of greens and colour here and there in between.

"Eat up before speaking, Samantha. Who even thaught you those manners?" With a small smile he forked up a big slice of chicken breast and shoved it into his mouth just like his brother.

"Shubt ubp - ibt's goobd for olbd men too-" And Sam almost died choking on a salad leave as Dean fired a big slice of meat into his direction.

"Whataya mean old man?? I'll show you-"

And Cas just sat there watching.

Watching how Dean's mouth formed an affronted line while Sam ducked laughing again as another piece of meat was threathingly thrown. Dean's eyes crinkled then, turning that even more grassgreen colour shade he was sure only Dean's eyes could turn into. And even though he wasn't smiling, Cas knew he was.

_Benevolence._

"Cas, you alright?" He almost didn't hear it. "You don't like it?"

Startled by the tone, he picked up his fork.

"I do."

\-----

There were also moments which still were very confusing to him.

They just arrived back home from a particular nasty hunt where they surprisingly and to their utter displease were greeted by not only one ghoul, but a whole pack. Of course they were eliminated successfully in the end but they hadn't expected the amount they had to fight and therefore got lightheartedly into it.

Cas sacked down heavily on a chair at the big table in the entrance hall . Annoyed he swiped a hand over his tired face and tried to ignore the sharp piercing pain in his shoulder as he did so.

Dean was heaving his heavy bag onto the table with a loud and unnecessary sound.

"Uhm..I'm gonna put the gear away. Dean, you gonna stitch him up?" Without waiting for a reply, Sam snitched the remaining bags on the stair case and hurried along the hall with a pointed eyebrow raise directed to him.

Cas couldn't care less in that particular moment about deciphering what that was supposed to mean again.

Instead he watched Dean silently getting the band aid and a stitching kit from the cupboard on the other side of the room. He saw his slight tremble of hands, which in no mean meant he was scared. He was angry like shit, Cas silently detected.

That only was underlined subtedly by a loud and harsh thud as the cupboard was shut again and Dean stiffly walked back to him, trying to avoid any eye contact by fixating his wounded shoulder instead.

Cas could see it in his eyes anyway.

_Anger. Rage._

With a heavy sigh Dean wordlessy sat beside him and grabbed his good shoulder, carefully but with a thight grip turning him around.

By Dean's intense glare - his eyes were an entirely different green now by the way, dark and dangerous - he understood that he should get rid of his clothes.

"I'm going to heal anyway. You don't have to-"

"Don't."

Cas mouth fell shut by the sharp word. He sighed defeated and carefully, so not to hurt his shoulder more than already, got rid of his dress shirt. His trenchcoat still layed blood strained in the car.

This was just humiliating. He didn't even needed to be stitched up!

As his shirt finally went down to the floor, he looked again at Dean only finding his eyes shooing away quickly.

That was exactly what he didn't understand here. Dean was trying to look everywhere but not at him anymore.

_Uncertainty? Embarassement?_

But why? He more than often stitched up his little brother, Cas has seen it plenty of times and he wouldn't act like that.

"You really don't have to. This clearly is making you uncomfortable, Dean."

He felt an inner pang as he realised this was just the thing _not_ to say to him as Dean's body stiffened and he got up abruptly, tossing the band aid into his lap.

"There ya go then! If you'll bleed out at least I can say I tried." His bitter words made Cas feel only worse as he began to stride out of the hallway.

Sometimes it was so hard to understand - to get him. But now Cas did.

"I'm sorry."

And Dean came to halt again, clenching and opening his fists alternately.

Cas almost could feel his inner fight, but then Dean turned once again sitting down beside him.

"You know that has to stop." He began to clean the wound and Cas ignored the pinching.

"What has?"

"The thing you always do. Throwing you into danger to save me, save us, getting hurt while doing so."

Cas tilted his head to the side and while he did he almost saw an amused glimmer in Dean's eyes again.

"Well, but you are always trying to save everyone, Sam especially...it is the same isn't it? I just don't want you to get hurt either."

And somehow Dean's next words made him stop breathing.

"It is never the same with you."

_Honesty._

And Cas didn't know why, but this time he couldn't look at Dean for the rest of the time while he quietly stitched him up.

\-----

Cas couldn't sleep. He was sure he did know why - he should have ditched the last coffee after dinner, but how couldn't he have possibly say no to it.

That he needs to give to Dean. The new coffee machine was heavenily if he dared to say so.

Though he still hadn't quite figured out how it worked and was almost a bit reverent with trying as it was indeed one of Dean's most loved things he owned besides Baby by now. And he truly would went down to hell voluntary if he ever destroyed it accidentaly whilst discovering it.

After tossing and turning another time, he flicked on his bedside lamp with an annoyed huff - it was very late, almost early so to say. Should he go to the library again and use his time more useful until he felt tired again?

He felt a bit discruntled by the thought though, but decided to go.

_"Cas..."_

His foot stopped just an inch before touching the ground completely.

Dean's voice was echoing in his head and for a reason it caused heavy goosebumps creeping up his back and both of his arms. He was up in a second.

Was Dean in trouble? Was there somone else in the bunker with them?

Cas' senses were tense like an arrow, he was closely listening to any sound or other entity he could feel. There was none.

_"Cas..."_

And he was out, by the tone Dean gave him. He never even heard it before like this. He opened his door and hurried down the hallway, maybe Dean was sick and that's why he prayed to him in such an unfamiliar way.

Somehow a strange feeling in his gut spreaded and made him swallow thickly.

_"...Cas!"_

He started to walk slower again, feeling his gut going even funnier. Slowly he continued his way towards Dean, something pulled him closer still.

What was that? It was tingly...and strange. Good somehow, but very strange.

He stood in front of Dean's door, not one sound coming from inside and Cas began to feel very stupid. But then again-

_"Cas!!"_

And not thinking twice, as he felt this strange and utterly confusing feeling almost knocking him out there, he knocked loudly on the door.

"Dean!! Is everything alright?" Cas felt the panic starting to rise. "Please open the door!!"

And then - he suddenly heared a loud curse.

"Fuck!!..Cas? What! - _What?_ Wait a second!"

So Dean was in trouble! Not even hesitating he started to open-

"Don't you _dare_ come in now!"

Cas halted instantly, hearing Dean stumbling out of bed and crashing against something - the side stand maybe.

"Ouch! _Fuck_ \- dammit...Just wait a damn second!"

Cas obeyed and closed the door again.

Forehead cringed he stared at it, not understanding at all what was going on. He was just about to storm in again as the door was opened by Dean himself.

He looked -

Disheveled.

Dean was wearing his funny french fries pyjama pants, but very, very... low. His shirt was on, but... inverted.

And Cas didn't know why, but Dean's eyes were so, so dark again and he didn't understand why he looked at him like that and why was his hair like that and why was Dean all blushy and just so, so... beautiful?

It made him want to forget everything that Dean has taught him about keeping personal space.

"You prayed to me."

That made Dean's cheeks blush even more, that beautiful rose colour even wandering down his throat now.

"You must have been dreaming."

Cas was captivated as Dean licked his upper lip shortly, leaving it shiny. He couldn't keep his eyes away even if he tried.

"No. I wasn't sleeping."

He couldn't help himself as he was drawn in further and made a little step forward, Dean's eyes going wide, turning even a darker shade with it. And was he imagining it or did Dean take a small step forward too?

"Dean..is everyting okay? Do you need help with something?"

He didn't even know why he asked, it was clear that Dean was fine.

"N-no. Thanks buddy, I'm peachy!"

For some reason the word buddy suddenly bothered him. "Yes, I can see that clearly."

Dean blinked a few times, turning beed red now and making Cas almost rising his eyebrows in question.

"Well, if that's..clear now then.. good night, buddy!!"

And the door was shut into his face. Strange, very strange.

He turned around quietly and walked down the hallway again back to his room, the throbbing in his tummy still echoing through his body.

Dean was fine. He prayed to him and he was fine.

Cas stopped and breathed deeply. He dared to look down carefully. This time he turned crimson himself.

Dean he felt...he made him -

_Want._

\-----

Cas sensed the atmosphere was kinda off between them after this night. And he didn't even understand fully why, or what has happened that triggered them both so much.

All Cas knew was that from this point onwards, he wanted Dean to say his name over and over again like that.

His wishes however were unfulfilled as no prayers were directed to him anymore and strangely Dean had a hard time again making eye contact with him. Even normal communication at this point seemed hard as Dean almost flew or backed out every room as soon as Cas dared to enter.

It bothered Cas. And clearly it bothered Dean.

Cas wasn't so much aware of Sam though until one particular evening.

The brothers were in the mid of reading about some witchcraft they were currently trying to conquer, which could be helpful with the new case.

Dean was reading with a bored expression, until Cas entered the room.

The mood shifted and almost immediately their eyes where drawn to each other. It made Cas stop a few steps away from the table.

"Hey Cas", Sam mumbled not even looking up. "Wanna help?"

Cas only nodded, already seeing Dean fidgeting uncomfortably in his chair, harshly starting to turn the pages of his book and tearing one of them almost in half with it.

Sam's eyebrows shot up by the sound. "Everythings okay, Dean?"

"Yeah, Sammy, peach-" Cas didn't event meant to and couldn't comprehend where it even came from, but the memories and the way Dean turned that rosy colour again made him drop the book he just picked up back on to the table. Accidently knocking of Dean's beer with it. Which was treathingly pouring in the direction of Sam's notes now.

That apparently took the cake.

"Ok time out." Sam stood up collecting his laptop and saving his half wet notes.

"Whatever this is between you-", he shot an annoyed look towards Dean, who was opening his mouth in protest but was ignored entirely, "and you" his eyes capturing Cas, "really has to stop. It is creeping me out!"

"What are you talking about, Sammy?"

"Don't play dumb. Either you two stop making googly eyes at each other - or get it out of your system!", Sam snapped at both of them and retreating the room with long strides, leaving them both speachless for a moment.

"Wow, just wow."

"I think he is annoyed of us, Dean." Cas was still looking in the direction Sam just stomped off, but turning is head quickly by the light chuckle he heard.

Dean was still sitting in his chair, leaning back now and covering his face with both hands as a proper laugh bubbled up in his throat. Cas only stood there watching again, while Dean laughed wholeheartedly.

"Dean?"

"Yes," he chuckled and spied between his fingers, "Sammy is really annoyed with us."

Dean slowly got up, closing his maltreated book. "Guess I'm doing a break then from research, too."

And Cas was surprised by the sudden stingy feel of anger rising in him as Dean fled from him another time.

"You don't have to go, Dean, it wasn't my intention to interfere."

Dean nevertheless started to walk away. "I know, buddy."

"I don't like it."

It made Dean stop and slowly turning again, Cas sensing his uncertainty.

"What you don't like?"

"You" Cas pressed out, trying not to sound too frustrated, "calling me buddy."

He wasn't sure what possessed him again in playing with his luck and almost started to apologize as his heart rate came up alarmingly while Dean turned fully to him now again, a mix of confusion and shock written all over his face. But there was also

_Hope?_

And it made him stand up straighter. It made him hope.

Dean shuffled with his feet again, asking so quietly, Cas almost couldn't hear it.

"How should I call you then?"

Cas slowly came to stand directly before Dean, who was following every step of him with full attention. He could feel the other man's heart rate, how is blood began to boil again, his hands becoming sweaty in anticipation of his proximity. It made him almost gasp, the urge to grab and hold him, touch him, feel his pulse. It became nearly unbearable.

"You tell me."

Dean's jaw was clenched hard and he could almost see the inner fight the man in front of him was loosing, eyes closing as his fists clenched by his sides.

Dean smiled then as he opened his eyes again and Cas didn't look back once as he passed by him, slowly walking out of the room.

A tiny little smile that made him retreat.

_Denial._

\-----

"You do actually realize, that my big brother is some big cake of suppressed emotional feelings, right?"

Cas almost didn't look up, as Sam sat down on the other side of the couch, hands holding a hot cup of herbal tea.

It was very late again and Cas feared he couldn't sleep even if a witch would hex him. Not even the boring documentation about how Game of Thrones matched the Wars of Roses - which was complete nonsene by the way - could made im any more sleepy.

All he could think of was that tiny little smile that made his heart ache and his throat feel painfully funny. He was an angel of the lord. He shouldn't feel it.

_Sadness. Heart break._

"He did fuck up again, didn't he?"

Cas head shot up startled and was greeted with a knowing smile from Sam.

"Come on Cas, do you seriously thought I didn't know? After all you've done for him? I'm aware that Dean is pretty dense and always in a state of self denial. But you?", Sammy chuckled and took a big sip from his cup, "thought you'd be more aware."

"He won't ever...Dean will never admit it."

"No he won't, not unless he's guided. By you."

Sam slowly stood up again and before leaving placed a soothing hand on Cas shoulder.

"For this he needs you to be the strong one."

_Gratitude._

\-----

As late the other evening got, as early the next morning arrived and Cas couldn't be more moody, as he stumbled into the kitchen still very drousy.

He made his way directly again to the coffee machine and pulled out the pot only to find out there was just a tiny spit left.

 _Can't this all be any more frustrating?_ , he angrily thought and rammed the pot back into the machine. He started pouring water into it and pressing every button he could reach, totally confused by the whole creation of this electronic devise.

"If you continue to treat her like that, we will need a new one by the end of next week."

Cas turned around quickly and a bit startled.

He hadn't realised Dean was sitting at the kitchen table already, calmly sipping his cup of morning coffee. With cinnamon of course, as always.

"Well, I don't understand how it works! The old one was just fine, why couldn't you just get the same one as before?" He pouted and quickly turning back, focusing on the buttons and ignoring Dean's disheveled hair again.

He heard a tiny sigh and a screeching chair. "You already tried the coffee from the new one, you know exactly why."

Cas couldn't help but holding his breath as he felt Dean stopping beside him, not leaving even an inch between them as he pushed one button and a small gurgle escaped the traitorous machine in front of him.

"That was exactly the same button I used."

"No, it wasn't, genius," Dean huffed.

"Fine, it wasn't."

There was silcence then as both of them standing side by side waiting for the coffee to be finished. Cas glanced at Dean from the side and almost wanted to say something human courtesy demanded, but couldn't get over the fact that he still was sad. And slightly pissed so to say.

This was ridiculous.

To calm his fidgeting hands he impulsively grabbed the sugarbox, only to almost drop it again, making Dean quickly reaching for it and spilling half of the box onto the counter anyway. Their eyes meeting shortly as their fingers touched.

Cas savoured the feeling of it. But the moment was gone as quickly as it came, however he was mesmerized by how good it felt.

He didn't catch Dean's reaction to it though, as he fished out the dish towel immediately from the sink wiping of the spilled sugar.

"Since when you're using sugar? Thought you enjoyed only pure black one."

Cas only answered with a short nod and was almost relieved as the coffee machine came to hold with a last loud gurgle.

"Here, let me", Dean mumbled and poured the hot brew into his cup. "Before you'll drop that, too."

Embarassed Cas snitched the cup right out off his hands . "Well, thank you."

"No biggie, bud-" Cas stopped his cup right before his mouth, and was attentively watching as Dean stopped mid sentence, realizing, looking down, up, and down quickly again and sighing defeated.

Very interesting.

"You were saying?"

"Nothing." Dean quietly said, holding his questioning stare. "Enjoy your coffee, Cas."

Something snapped in Cas then, he had enough of dancing around whatever this was and he was so tired of Dean constantly fighting and denying it.

He should be the strong one? He would be. So as Dean grabbed his own coffee, heading out, he couldn't hold it anymore.

"That was a bit better. But not enough."

Dean stopped confused. "Better? What was?"

"You calling me out", he took a slow sip of coffee and sat the mug down. "It was not quite as genuine as I would like it to be."

He hold Dean's wided eyes as he slowly came in his direction again. "Not as hard and soft at the same time as that one evening." And he saw his pupils dilate again, making him feel all itchy as he stood in front of him, sneaking right into his personal space.

_Desire._

"I'm learning constantly from you, Dean. Though I know you more than anyone, even more than Sam knows you. I have seen your bare soul without any barriers built up. And nevertheless you never fail to amaze me."

His hand shot up, softly grabbing over Dean's fingers holding his cup. "All those different feelings, those emotions, which are so utterly confusing to me." He was observing Dean, who couldn't decide if he found Cas' mouth or his hand holding his own more interesting.

"But you make me understand more with every day. You make me feel."

Slowly he was pulling Deans cup upwards to his mouth and taking a sip from his cup, Dean's hand twitching slightly under his. It was very interesting that Dean's eyes became darker still.

"So again, Dean...how will you call me?"

Dean swallowed heavily and his eyes met him again, making him shudder.

_"Cas..."_

_Want. Acceptance._

Cas smiled. "That's it", he whispered low and kissed him. Caught the small gasp Dean made, as he sank into him.

_"Cas."_

_Love._

\-----

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. ♥


End file.
